Thank you to Jill (Food, Feelings, and Freedom) for the nomination for the Sunshine Blogger Award! The award works normally works like this: first, I answer 11 of Jill’s questions. Then, I ask my nominees questions of my own. However, since I’m still relatively new to the blogging community, and the person who I would’ve nominated, nominated me instead, I’m going to just encourage anyone who reads this post to answer my questions in the comments section. That way, we can all get to know each other a little better, and spread as much sunshine as possible! And yes, I fully realize how cheesy this sounds.

Question 1: What do you do when you’re having a bad day?

Honestly, I’ve only recently learned how to take care of myself during a bad day. Before, I would always just try to push through it and ignore it. I would not recommend doing that. Now, instead, I like to curl up in my favorite blanket (shoutout to Target for providing ridiculously soft blankets for only $10) and listen to some music or watch Netflix while scrolling through my recovery board on Pinterest. I also try to make plans with friends who I know will support me, because I am very much an extrovert, and feeling isolated only makes me feel worse. Lastly, I remember that just because I’m having a bad day doesn’t give me an excuse not to eat! So I always try to eat something at every meal time, even if it’s just a smoothie.

Question 2: What is one thing you are most proud of?

As ridiculous as this may sound, right now, the thing I’m most proud of is my inner strength. I’ve gotten through a lot of things in life that I never would have thought that I would be able to survive. I’m committed to my recovery from anorexia, I’ve learned how to cope with intense spells of anxiety and panic attacks, and I’ve gotten through nights where I cut myself because everything hurt so much. I finally told my parents about my eating disorder and anxiety diagnosis. I’ve rebounded from loosing my friendship with best friend, and have grown from it. At every point, I didn’t think that I could get through it, and yet I did.

Question 3: Do you have any pets? Want any?

Yes! My parents have a dog named Max, and I am obsessed with him! When I’m at school he comes to stay with me occasionally. And he takes over my entire bed, sheds everywhere, and snores, and I wouldn’t change anything. However, next year, when I’m officially out of my parents’ house, I want to get my own dog- a rescue, of course!

Question 4: What are three values you consider most important?

Honesty, loyalty, and empathy. The importance of these three values have really stood out to me recently, as I’ve discovered what friends I can really count on.

Question 5: What are some of your hobbies?

I love taking dance classes! And writing! Although my passion for writing is something that I’ve more recently discovered.

Question 6: What is one thing you would tell your childhood self?

It’s okay to not be perfect! Perfection is overrated and is not equivalent to your worth as a person.

Question 7: What is your favourite quotation?

Honestly, this so shifts depending on my mood. But recently, these are the quotations which have taken over my recovery Pinterest board:

“If you were able to believe in Santa Claus for like 8 years, you can believe in yourself for like 5 minutes.” -Unknown

“Courage doesn’t mean you don’t get afraid. Courage means you don’t let fear stop you.” -Unkown

“I can do hard things.” – My Nutritionist

Question 8: Where do you see yourself (what do you hope for your future) in 5 years?

Ideally, I’ll be a first grade teacher with my own classroom in a great school system. I’ll have a dog, and live in an apartment with awesome roommates. I would love to be in a committed, loving, and supportive relationship. But most importantly, by that point, I’ll hopefully be very solid in my recovery, and in control of my anxiety.

Question 9: What is your biggest fear?

For the longest time, I would’ve answered this question with “being fat” or “gaining weight.” But now, I realize that these answers were just Ed’s way of masking my actual biggest fear- being unloved.

Question 10: What aspect of your life are you currently working on? (Work? Personal? Health?)

I’m sure y’all already have an idea of my answer to this one! I’m definitely focusing on my health right now- both mental and physical. I’m learning how to deal with my anxiety, and am working on improving my relationship with food. I’m trying to figure out what “normal” feels like, in regard to eating and working out. I’m also working on doing things that make me happy, and saying no to things that don’t.

Question 11: What is a risk you took that paid off?

So this is more of like a series of small risks, but just opening up to my friends about my eating disorder. For the longest time I was terrified of sharing because I didn’t want to feel vulnerable, but everyone I’ve told has been so incredibly loving and supportive. I’ve found that people care about me way more than I thought they did.

So if you’ve made it through all of that- congratulations! Here are my 11 questions for you:

1. Do you have any tattoos? If so, what is the meaning behind them? If not, what is something that you’d hypothetically want to get tattooed?
2. Where would you go for your dream vacation?
3. What is your favorite form of self-care?
4. What is your favorite quotation?
5. What is the most adventurous thing you’ve ever done?
6. What is your greatest accomplishment?
7. What is your spirit animal?
8. When you were little, what did you want to be when you grew up?
9. What do you do when you’re stressed?
10. What is your favorite memory?
11. If you only had one day left to live, what would you do with that day?

-X