I haven’t written about something that makes me smile in a while. Today, I need a reminder that things can also be positive. And that there are things that make me feel happy, free, and at peace. So today I’m going to write about the stars.

I’ve been fascinated with space basically ever since I discovered it existed. When I was six. I then fell in love with the field of astronomy after taking my first astronomy course in college. Now, I work at my universities planetarium, and get to see the stars at least once a week. Without light pollution. It’s breathtaking.

When I can’t go to the planetarium, I’m in my bed friend’s bed. She hung up twinkly lights on the ceiling and walls surrounding her bed in a way that looks exactly like constellations – if you take off your glasses and squint hard enough. Cuddled under a fuzzy blanket, warm, next to my person, bathed in the soft light of the synthetic stars, it makes complete sense that her bed has become my happy place.

I love looking up at the stars. Not only are they beautiful, they’re also a reminder that the universe is huge. Now, that may scare some people- but I find it oddly comforting. Calming. It makes my problems seem less significant. I’m just a small component in a giant universe. My emotions (what’s good anxiety) may have convinced me that the entire world is spinning out of control and about to come crashing in. But it’s not. The universe is so stunningly large that I’m not even a blip on the radar. There are bigger things than my emotions at play.

Anyone who truly knows me knows how much I love the stars. In fact, my best date was where we sat on the roof of his car and just looked at the stars. It was freezing but we didn’t care. Now, this guy ended up being a complete jerk, but the date was so perfect that it still counts as my best date. Regardless of who took me on it.

Speaking of my non-existent love life, I would absolutely melt if I were proposed to under the stars. I’m saying this like marriage is somewhat in the near future- it’s not. I’m still woefully single. But I’ve always been a in the closet hopeless romantic, and can’t help but secretly hope that when I meet my soulmate they’ll propose to me under the stars. On a beach. Stargazing on a checkered blanket.

But that’s a long ways off. So for now I’ll just be content with my synthetic stars, Saturdays, and the occasional awe-filled glance up at the night sky.

-X